Oma blogiluettelo

torstai 25. huhtikuuta 2013

THE BROTHERHOOD AND CITIZENSHIP GALA

Parasite Islands's HOME OFFICE make known the new bill treating with immigration and applying for political asylum.
To obtain Islands' Citizenship every applicant need to participate in the Brotherhood and Citizenship Gala, where each person need to fill an application (written by hand), and where he or she explains why he want to be the Citizen of the Parasite Islands.This document  is for the State's Home Office's Resident Register to have an authentic hand-writing sample and to know the real  intellectual status of the applicant.
The famous Gala will be held every year the first of May and the cost per person is US$ 100,and the price is collected when entering the Freedom Palace, where a digital robot takes the finger prints and hair sample in 5 seconds. The Resident's Bureau happening includes the FREEDOM MENU, based on Islands' autochthonous  Black Spotted Pig breed, Coco Wine and Captain Hook's Half Moon Rum.
During the Gala night, there are several cameras and tape recorders to collect images and voices for the Islands' Anti-crime Secret Service, for later use when they are doing applicant's  social behavior analyzes.
The evening ends with the speech of  His Excellency,the Minister of  the Interior, Mr. Christian Swinberg.
When everybody has left the Freedom Palace, the National Health Services' Laboratory Chemists comes and takes DNA-samples from the drinking glasses and sweat samples from the chairs.
The Islands' National Health Service's Laboratory Chemists have developed a system to multiply the human sweat smell, and now they are working together with the State Police to teach dogs to find dangerous criminals.

Parasite Islands' Home Office
Information Section

lauantai 20. huhtikuuta 2013

DEPORTING VIA TEHRAN

The official copy of the Parasite Islands' Home Office decision dealing with the two Tschetschenian man who asked residence status (RS-card) in our multiracial and democratic state.
The data which the men gave in the customs officer's inquiry was following:
Names: Dorka Talibjanev, born 1989 and Ahlan Mushlimovitsch,born 1996. Both origin from Cossagrad, where they had graduated from the Cossagrad Chemical Fertilizer Engineering School.
During the inquiry the men said, that they wanted to join Parasite Islands' Olympic boxing team.When asked the origin of the money which they carried when entered the customs control, they said it was a scholarship payment when finishing their studies with good grades.
Also the investigator paid attention to their passports labels. Both had lived long time in Ladenabbot, Dorka 5 months and Ahlan 9 months.
When asked if their petition was rejected by the immigration authorities and they needed to return to their home countries, both answered that they will start a hunger strike, because in Cossagrad  they had been oppressed because of their diet and holy book.
When investigating their suitcases more closely the customs found a double bottom with  some white powder inside, and it was sent to the Antidrug laboratory for instant analyses.
When asked what was it, while waiting the test results , both confirmed ,that  it was for lamb meat seasoning.
At last , after 2 hours waiting the laboratory test result was in the hands of the investigators. It was an ammonia and nitrogen combined salt.
With this result and using Parasite Islands' Constitution's Paragraph 212, section 12 where it says: All sports with violent nature like boxing,wrestling,karate, taekwondo etc. is NOT considered  apt in a multiracial and democratic state, when there is no war time.
Both man needed to pay Human Rights Insulting Tax (HRIT) 1200 US$ together and was returned via Tehran to their home country.


Parasite Islands' Home Office
HOME SECRETARY
Christian Swinberg

maanantai 1. huhtikuuta 2013

INTERNATIONAL FAST FOOD CONGRESS IN SIBERIAN UNIVERSITY

Siberian University is arranging an International Congress of Fast Food and how to make it quick.
The congress is directed to EU-professionals and food industry chemists.
The Congress is planned to be carried out in three  days.
The First Day is dedicated to the new food preserving methods:  Slow frozen with lactic acid and mixed with new artificial antioxidants. The process is planned to replace quick frozen (QF) being too energy consuming.
And drying food products has always been a complicated process,so the new quick drying system (QD) using the thermal power cooling process is more than welcome. In Parma there are already new installations to prove it's efficacy.
The second Day is dedicated to solve the problems  how to avoid small butcher companies to use their natural monopoly  position in the food chain e.g. when buying and slaughtering  their own horses and thus they can see that the animal really was an  equine origin.
The third Day  is the most important and the congress will have new experts in human mind manipulation to turn people's mind when they are hungry, that their  food choice decisions depends only on the color, the package and the celebrity used in the advert .

Silvio Parmaggiano
Rector of Siberian University

More INFO in www.siberian.university.org